


Welcome to the Big City

by My_Alter_Ego



Series: Love or Lust [1]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Coming of Age, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, First Love, Loss of Innocence, Multi, Secrets, Shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 14:09:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16199099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Alter_Ego/pseuds/My_Alter_Ego
Summary: “Love or Lust” is the name of a series of short stories about two very strong motivations that were prevalent throughout Neal Caffrey’s life. It seems like it would be easy to recognize either one, but sometimes it was difficult to actually name the correct emotion driving him or the people whom he encountered. Often, even Neal couldn’t always distinguish between the two. I’ve rated each story as “Explicit” because I’ve added just a dash of porn to kick the various plots up a notch.This first entry in a series of five starts at the very beginning when Neal was young, impetuous, and not yet collared by the FBI. It’s my  fictional version of his relationship with Kate and then Vincent Adler during a con.





	Welcome to the Big City

Neal was just eighteen years old and still wet behind the ears when he fled St. Louis with a different name and arrived in the Big Apple. He really didn’t have a definite plan in mind at the end of his chaotic journey. Like most teenagers, he had made a visceral snap decision while acting out his frustrations and nursing his hurts. However, Neal did have a few things going for him—a persistent drive to survive and many remarkable talents. A handsome, choirboy face didn’t hurt either.

So, initially, after he got the lay of the land, he rented a little hole-in-the-wall walk-up just a step above his room at the youth hostel with its communal bathroom. He swallowed his childish pride, lied about his age, and took whatever jobs he could find to pay the bills—bike messenger, wait staff, coffee barista. He was good at anything that he set his mind to do, but he had dreams of something better. He wasn’t sure what that might be, but it definitely would be a much nicer life than what he was living now. 

It didn’t take long for Neal to comprehend that pickpocketing, games of chance, and his menial day jobs were never going to help him attain his lofty ambitions. He realized that he needed valid credentials to get himself in the door of the proper establishments. Back alley hustlers, the local library, and the enlightening Internet provided him with a wealth of knowledge that made him aware of what he did need—things such as the proper inks, papers, and various rubber stamp seals to create passable forgeries. He began to churn out birth certificates, educational accomplishments, and academic degrees under different names. With a definite goal in mind, Wall Street and the banking system became his new passion. He spent weeks tweaking copies of excellent counterfeit bearer bonds, but was leery of actually trying to cash them. Then his life suddenly took a sharp left turn after he met a little bespectacled man in the park wearing a bad toupee and running a three-card Monty rip-off with a cohort.

Mozzie saw the young scammer’s intelligence and potential. He was duly impressed and eagerly took on the role of mentor. He encouraged Neal to widen his knowledge base by reading everything from art history to classical Greek mythology. He cleaned up the young upstart’s image by buffing and polishing him until he was ready to take the plunge into the big time that offered similar big payoffs.

Eventually, the fabled white whale came into view and acquired a name—Vincent Adler. It would have to be a long con, but it would also be a very lucrative one if Neal and Mozzie played their cards right. Mozzie was confident; Neal wasn’t so sure. However, he set his mind to learning about equities, derivatives, and hostile takeovers. He could quote economic stats from memory. With a bit of brazen chutzpah, he finally managed to gain access to the magic kingdom, a cutthroat world of dog-eat-dog that Neal found exhilarating. He was up to the challenge and flourished, and he finally decided that he had found his unique niche.

This new venture was a turning point for Neal is many different ways. He became Nick Halden, and in his alter-ego role working as Adler’s underling, he actually fell in love and gave his heart away for the first time. Kate Moreau became his Madonna, his goddess, and his muse. Mozzie was jaded and skeptical of true love, but his warnings fell on deaf ears. When you’re twenty, you’re still naïve enough to believe in fairy tales and happy endings. Mozzie knew better, but when can you ever get a moon-struck kid to listen to the voice of experience?

Kate was just as responsible for Neal’s metamorphosis into a new persona as Mozzie was. As is true in any fresh and exciting relationship, the young couple learned new things about themselves and each other, and they slowly adapted to accommodate their partner out of deep respect and devotion. That was true in their daytime interactions as well as in the bedroom.

Neal wasn’t exactly a neophyte when it came to sex. During high school, he had sometimes gotten lucky with a female classmate, but those forays into the forbidden were tentative and clumsy and driven by rampant male hormones. A few more knowledgeable upper-class girls taught him a bit of finesse, but foreplay was the last thing on a lust-driven young stud’s mind. However, his technique improved after meeting Kate because he desperately wanted to please her.

Their couplings were tender and sweet as they explored the topography of each other’s bodies, discovering hot spots and pleasure points. Neal never dreamed that love could be like this, and he never wanted it to end. That’s why he had to pull off this caper of Mozzie’s. When they finally raided Vincent Adler’s account, Neal could grab his beautiful queen and ride off into the sunset to a beckoning and wondrous future in something real instead of the air castles of their pipedreams.

~~~~~~~~~~

Vincent Adler was different from anybody Neal had ever known, and, at first, he became a sort of idol whom the awe-struck young man wished to emulate. Like Mozzie, Adler also considered Neal to be his pet project. If Mozzie dressed Neal in Men’s Wearhouse and Brooks Brothers, Adler togged him out in Tom Ford, St. Laurent, or hand-crafted creations by the best tailors on Saville Row in London. Under the financial wheeler-dealer’s tutelage, Neal learned how to master a Windsor knot in expensive silk ties, how to have a discriminating palate for rare wines, and how to be knowledgeable about the proper placement of the silverware at black tie dinners. How could the young man not acquire champagne tastes in these rarified echelons of the powerful? But the icing on the cake was Kate, always lovely and pure Kate. At least that’s how Neal viewed her with his steadfast case of tunnel vision.

Vincent Adler could be a hard and difficult taskmaster. He expected perfection in himself as well as in his sycophants. Neal worked long hours, slaving away over competing companies’ spread sheets looking for a fatal flaw that Adler could exploit in his quest for financial dominance. The young righthand man had a gut instinct that some of the corporate raider’s tactics were a bit on the shady side, but how could Neal complain about that? He and Mozzie were cut from the same cloth and had their own agenda concerning Neal’s boss.

However, one thing became crystal clear at the onset of Neal’s interactions with the man. Adler was passive-aggressive, and a conniving Nick Halden did his best to kowtow to whatever the man expected, never sure if it was enough. It was always difficult to gauge the man’s true mindset or his intent. However, some of what Adler desired was acquired in slow insidious ways. Neal was actually blindsided when Adler set out to get what he wanted one late night in the man’s office. Actually, it entailed a sort of seduction. Well, maybe it wasn’t really a seduction. To be honest, Adler demanded, and Nicholas Halden obeyed his command.

Neal had come to work that day in one of the suits a New York clothier had made and tailored for him on Adler’s dime. By ten o’clock that night, only Neal and his boss were left in the darkened office, and the last bit of research into an interesting new start-up tech company had been tucked away in a folder. Neal was beyond tired, and he just wanted to grab his suit jacket from an office chair, then go home and pass out in his bed beside Kate. However, Adler had other ideas for the rest of the evening.

Adler insisted that they share a drink, so an accommodating Nick Halden sighed inwardly while obediently accepting the proffered crystal tumbler of 25 year-old single malt Scotch. He let the smoky liquid slide down his throat and offered a smile of gratitude. Adler then did a curious thing. He sauntered closer into Nick’s personal space with a little smile on his own lips that looked predatory. While staring deep into Nick’s blue eyes, he let a sinuous hand stroke up the crotch of his protégé’s trousers. It was a somatic reflex for the healthy young man to immediately harden. Suddenly, Nick felt like a deer caught in the brilliant glare of Adler’s headlights, and he stood frozen in place as the captain of industry, who always took what he wanted, continued the insistent rubbing.

“Now, you wouldn’t want to stain those expensive new suit trousers, would you, Nick?  I think it would be best if you took them off,” Adler hissed.

Neal kept telling himself that it was Nick Halden who was obeying the dictate, not Neal Caffrey. He could disassociate himself and let it happen because it really wasn’t happening to him. It was all part of a fantasy that he and Mozzie had created for their own nefarious ends. A good con man had to be willing to take wild chances while playing a dangerous game, and to endure whatever consequences that endeavor entailed.

So, it was Nick who never uttered a word of dissent as his pants and underwear fell to the floor and Adler bent him over the sleek, mahogany desk. However, it was really a conflicted Neal who felt Adler’s insistent fingers apply lube into the cleft between his buttocks. Then a hard finger began to insistently probe his orifice. Neal’s upper body was rigid while his penis became flaccid under the onslaught.

“Relax, Nick,” Adler whispered. “If you’re new to this, I have a lot to teach you about other pleasures of the flesh. You may even grow to like it and begin to crave the exquisite exhilaration of the moment.”

Neal was damn sure this was definitely not something that he wanted to learn, much less like or ‘crave.’ Nevertheless, he clenched his teeth and gripped the end of the sturdy desk with his now sweaty hands, telling himself that he could get through this. A few moments later, he twitched as a second rigid digit joined the first, reaming and stretching the ring of muscle.

“You’re too tense, Nick, and that’s only making this harder than it has to be,” Adler breathed into his ear.

Unfortunately, Neal didn’t know how to be ‘untense’ in this situation, so the insistent onslaught painfully continued as the assaulted young man tried to go to another place in his mind. “This isn’t real and it’s not happening to me,” he silently chanted in his head like a mantra.

But it _was_ happening, and Neal became quite painfully aware of that fact as Adler’s cock eventually replaced his hand. The man was rock hard, and even the lubricant didn’t help give him easy access to Neal’s core. Even more agonizingly slow stretching commenced as that persistent weapon advanced centimeter by centimeter. Finally, with one last urgent thrust, Adler was balls deep within his victim. Neal had let out a yelp as the burning pain took his breath away. Adler actually laughed as he started rocking back and forth with choppy, uneven strokes at first.

“Young, tight, and hot,” he murmured, “just how I like it.”

Then Adler evened out his rhythm and Neal squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip, hoping it would end soon. It didn’t as Adler continued to pummel into his young aide with an intensity that belied a man of his age. Somewhere in the dark reaches of Neal’s mind, his more logical left brain wondered if erectile enhancement drugs were in play that night.

Finally, the frenzied jack-hammering reached a crescendo, and Neal felt the scalding heat of Adler’s cum enter his body. When the older man’s panting eventually evened out, he removed his cock and Neal heard him zip up. The debauched young man was unprepared for the sharp, stinging slap to his buttocks, delivered as Adler walked past on his way to his personal bathroom.

“Make sure to be in bright and early tomorrow, Nick,” he cavalierly flung the words over his shoulder before disappearing.

Neal was mortified as he quickly redressed and fled the scene of his rape. As he sat on a hard subway seat trying not to feel the burning in his ass, he realized that Neal Caffrey might have been raped, but Nick Halden hadn’t been a sexually-assaulted victim. That’s because his alter-ego hadn’t said “no,” or “stop,” so the act had progressed and would be deemed consensual if anyone ever found out. Neal was never one to pray, but he fervently hoped no one would ever find out about this embarrassing travesty that he had let happen.

When Neal entered his own tiny apartment a little after 2 am, he found Mozzie sitting at a card table doing something with a soldering iron and shiny bits of metal.

“So, Adler has you working late yet again,” Mozzie said without looking up. “Just when do you think you can finally get that password for his account, Neal? The clock is ticking and I’m not getting any younger.”

“Stop nagging me, Mozzie!” Neal said sharply. “Why are you even here in my apartment. Don’t you have your own bolt hole somewhere?”

Mozzie looked up with his mouth open at Neal’s aggrieved tone. “A little testy tonight, are we?” he mocked.

“I’m just tired and I want to go to bed,” Neal finally responded in a more level tone of voice.

Mozzie cocked his head to the side. “Yeah, maybe you do need some rest. You look like something the cat dragged in.”

Nonetheless, Mozzie unplugged the soldering tool and collected his arcane pieces of scrap. With a troubled backward glance, he quietly closed the door behind him. Neal breathed a sigh of relief after Mozzie left. He finally chanced a peak into the bedroom and saw Kate sleeping peacefully, so he quietly slipped into the bathroom and turned the hot faucet on in the shower until the mirror was fogged and he didn’t have to see his own reflection. Climbing into the tiled enclosure, he let the scalding water cascade down his body as he viciously scrubbed every inch of his skin with Kate’s loofa. Afterwards, he still felt defiled and dirty and not worthy of lying beside his sweet and pure lover, so he slept fitfully the rest of the early morning hours on the living room couch.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning as Neal and Kate walked into Adler’s huge office, they found the man already there in the anteroom with a cup of coffee in his hand. He greeted them amicably, then addressed Kate directly.

“I’m afraid that I may have to keep your boyfriend late two nights in a row, Kate,” Adler simpered with a smarmy smile. “We’re working on a sort of merger that promises to be quite intense. I’m sure you won’t mind if I borrow him tonight. Nick has a lot to offer this project and we’ve just managed to scratch the surface. I intend to get quite deep into it.”

“Of course, Mr. Adler,” Kate said demurely, “I’m sure Nick will do his best for you.”

Adler winked at Neal. “I’m confident that he will,” he said smoothly.

~~~~~~~~~~

That night was a replay of the one that had come before it. This time, Adler's entry was a little easier since it had only been less than twenty-four hours since Neal had been split wide open, and the ring of muscle hadn’t had sufficient time to heal and tighten. Now Neal was sure that Adler was using enhancement aids because the fucking went on and on until the collar of Neal’s white shirt was sodden with sweat.

“I don’t think I can get enough of you, Nick,” Adler smirked. “I’m sure you know how it is when you get a new toy and want to play with it over and over.”

As Neal was dressing after their fucking, Adler took a check from the top drawer of his desk and threw it in his direction. Neal eyed it like it was a venomous snake, but he did note a generous amount containing several zeros made out to Nicholas Halden. In the notation line, Adler had written “for services rendered.”  Neal had never felt more like a whore in his life.

“I don’t want this, Mr. Adler,” Neal mumbled.

“Oh, don’t get coy, Nick. If you’d prefer, consider it a bonus for work well done,” Adler replied cynically.

When Neal still refused to touch the check, Adler snorted. “How about this. Why don’t I just invest it in one of my projects for you. Currently, I’m proud to say that I’m earning 18% interest on my clients’ portfolios. You can begin building a little nest egg for yourself and Kate.”

When Neal just regarded the suggestion with a vacant stare, Adler shrugged and left for the night with a terse, “Lock things up before you leave, Nick.”

~~~~~~~~~~

This time, Kate was awake when Neal got home. She switched off the old movie she had been watching and rose to approach her lover. Neal held up his hand to stop her progress across the room. He was somehow sure she would be able to smell Adler on him.

“Don’t get too close to me, Sweetheart,” Neal begged. “I think I’m coming down with something and I don’t want to take the chance of infecting you.”

He didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he literally bolted past the surprised girl and locked the bathroom door behind him.

“Nick, are you sure you’re alright?” she called softly through the door. She didn’t get an answer because her words were drowned out by the loud drumming of the shower’s torrents of water. Finally, she let him be and fretted when he didn’t join her in bed for a second night in a row.

~~~~~~~~~~

The degrading sexual molestation continued in the following weeks. Sometimes it happened in the middle of the afternoon while Kate was seated at her own desk just beyond an unlocked door.

“What do you think your sweet little paramour would say if she walked in right now with some papers for me to sign?” Adler taunted.

Than there were the mortifying times when Adler would spread his legs, open his fly, and demand a blow job from his new plaything while the mogul was teleconferencing on the phone. He’d temporarily put the call on hold when he came, and then pick up the threads of the conversation afterwards as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Adler insisted on taking his young aide with him to Brussels on business. Neal became a member of “The Mile High” club as Adler fucked him mercilessly in the private jet’s small bedroom alcove. Neal kept his head down and couldn’t allow his eyes to meet those of the young stewardess also on board. Of course, the woman knew what had taken place behind that curtain, but that wasn’t the worst thing for Neal to endure. Now, he was facing other embarrassing demons as well because Vincent Adler was a shrewd manipulator in every respect.

On many occasions, Adler would cunningly use his proficient and titillating tactics to sexually arouse his protégé. When the prostate gland is massaged, and a penis is pulled and stroked, a healthy male body responds in a very natural way. To his horror, Neal would sometimes find himself enjoying the touching, the fondling, and even the actual fucking, and Adler would laugh cruelly when Neal came all over himself. After that part of his nature was revealed, the introspective young man began to hate himself for his weakness. It took a very long time for Neal to accept what he considered to be a dichotomy in his psyche. Eventually, he made peace with it as the current situation became part of the rollercoaster ride of loves and lusts that shaped the rest of his life.

To be honest, Neal really endured Adler’s torment because he felt he had no other choice. He had to see this through because Mozzie was counting on him and because Kate deserved so much more. He wanted to be able to place the world at her feet, and, with Adler’s vast resources, he could do that. A knock-off copy of “ _Saint George and the Dragon”_ wasn’t enough. Kate deserved the real thing.

Not surprisingly, all of this psychological torture was wreaking havoc on Neal and Kate’s relationship. “Mr. Adler is taking advantage of you, Nick. He’s working you too hard and you barely have any energy left for me,” she pouted.

“You have no idea,” Neal mumbled.

Of course, deep secrets never bode well for two people in love. They lead to suspicion and distrust. Not surprisingly, Kate accused Neal of having an affair.

“You hardly touch me anymore, so tell me who is she, Nick. Tell me!” Kate demanded.

“There is no other woman in my life,” Neal swore passionately as he looked into her stormy eyes.

Of course, Neal couldn’t seem to turn the tide of Kate’s discontent, and they began to have loud and hurtful arguments. Mozzie rarely came to the small apartment anymore. He said the tense atmosphere ruined his Zen. Nonetheless, he still constantly badgered Neal to ferret out the all-important password for Adler’s account. Neal did keep trying, but he was also attempting to find out other facts. He went to a discrete clinic in the city and had his blood tested for any sexual diseases or AIDS. Luckily, everything came back negative, and he breathed a little easier for a bit. That is until the world seemed to implode when Vincent Adler absconded with everyone’s money after his conniving house of cards was revealed.

“ _Ancient lyre”_ translated to “ _Nice try, Neal_.” The bastard had known all along, and that fact made the sexual manipulation so much more revolting.

It was finally time for Nick to become Neal again, at least to Kate. He told her everything except for the extracurricular role he had played for Adler’s benefit. Neal would take that secret to his grave. Kate saw her visions of a beautiful future crumble before her eyes. Nonetheless, she made the best of a bad situation by becoming Neal and Mozzie’s cohort in crime for a time. But it was never the same for two people who had once been madly in love with youthful hopes and unrealistic dreams. Neal still carried his burning torch, but the fire in Kate’s seemed to be waning. This was not the life she had envisioned for herself. Unfortunately, her abrupt and callous desertion sowed the seeds for a naïve and heartsick young man’s ultimate downfall.

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 coming soon.


End file.
